It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
