You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
