Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
