I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
