He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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