she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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