he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
