you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
