Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
