I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
