Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
