found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
