There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All the doctor said was why
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
