it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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