This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
