You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
