no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
