Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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