i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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