Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
