Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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