It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Mom said you looked used
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
