i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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