i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
