He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
