so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
