she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
