Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
