I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
