Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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