Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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