just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
