I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do vagina's smell?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
