batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
