She is in my trunk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
