That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
