similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
