Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
