Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
