I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
