at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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