Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
