My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
