Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Your tits are I can't wait for
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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