i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
