Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
