fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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