I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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