We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
