butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
