it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize